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In this empty room
We stand together
In silence
In the darkness

Our shattered hearts
Bleeding together as one
While the blood runs
Through our cold skin

This is what love is like
Two broken people
Sharing their pain
Merging their empty souls

We forget about the world
Because we live in a world of our own
United as one
In an illusion of happiness
Something about love. It's kida bittersweet but it's the best I can give you.
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:iconmusicisthenewspeech:
Wow I was astonished! This brought chills up my spine! This explains what happens with two people, broken people, are brought together by love. Their wounds of the past shall be healed by working together. Another saying of "you make me feel whole" . This brings out my hopeless romantic side that makes me want to skng love songs and waltz. At first when I saw it I thought it seemed like a "Romeo and Juilet" theme of which two people would do anything for love. However, I was deeply inpressed and moved by this piece of poetry. I look forward to seeing more from you.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
16 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconlmw-the-poet:
Seriously my most favorite piece of yours that you have ever written, ever. I absolutely love this one. Reading it, there's images of a story that begins to blossom, but the way you've written it leaves out just enough specifics that the story can be more personal to the person. "Open to interpretation" as the usual phrase always is... On basis on originality, the idea of love and the factors you've mentioned have been used before in other pieces but its not a common topic. And this was much more beautifully written rather sounding like this dreading, heart-breaking story. Your descriptive words, describing the scene, really helps with that. It's a lightening message almost, portrayed with words in which many have more so of a negative connotation. It does create the lovliest bittersweet feeling to this. :meow: Impact. I'm not sure what else I can say without repeating myself over. For some, it could make them rethink the definition to the idea of love and for those it doesn't - I'm sure there's pieces to the feelings in this that they can connect to. Really a beautiful, bittersweet, well-written piece.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
8 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconcaptainmockingjay42:
CaptainMockingjay42 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
nice job! my favorite stanza was the third. :)
I think it's very relatable.  
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015
It's one of my favourites out of all my poems. And thanks :)
Reply
:iconspeed8999:
speed8999 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
An illusion, it is... been there... once, twice.... too many times... yet i choose not to believe...
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
I know that feeling... It's like a poison we can't avoid.
Reply
:icondeadfish-silentarmy:
Deadfish-SilentArmy Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this is a good one, so much emotion.
So many words that I relate to, and that I wish I had.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Thanks. I wish I had it too...
Reply
:icondeadfish-silentarmy:
Deadfish-SilentArmy Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:nod: may be one day eh!
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
Yeah :)
Reply
:iconsohinidutta:
sohinidutta Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow... this js a beautiful write. Very well versed and creates a deep impact.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :)
Reply
:iconreinerackerman:
ReinerAckerman Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Preach on!
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Yeah.
Reply
:iconlacolombededeuil:
LaColombeDeDeuil Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Professional General Artist
:blackrose::blackrose:

~~ This stopped me and made me think of how often we fill our lives with empty people who think they understand those of us that have gone through tremendous pain. I have chosen to rid my life of such people, why burden myself when I am burdened anyway with so much from the pain I have sufferred and the scars it has left behind, especially from lovers false. This speaks of two empty people, empty not of souls as stated above, but emptied because they have given all they have and received nothing in return and now they have found each other. This is an amazing work. You nailed it. ~~

always,
katti
:blackrose::blackrose:
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Looks like we have similar views about love. And I'm glad you liked it. 
Stay strong, OK? :blackrose:
Reply
:iconlacolombededeuil:
LaColombeDeDeuil Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Professional General Artist
:blackrose::blackrose:

~~ working on it, fighting a pretty painful illness but am trying to stay sane and active through it all. You stay strong too okay my friend? We need to stick together those of us that understand. ~~

love always,
katti :blackrose:
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
That's the way, keep it up. And I will, you can be sure of it.
And you're right, we must support each other. :blackrose:
Reply
:iconbrokenbrookiecookie:
BrokenBrookieCookie Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it!
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconbrokenbrookiecookie:
BrokenBrookieCookie Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)
Reply
:iconeveraftereden:
EverAfterEden Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Absolutely and irrevocably mediocre at best.

How can people full of pain have empty souls? Empty means there is nothing there. It's a lazy word to use.

I also find lack of punctuation, even in poetry, to be elementary.

An improvement in metaphorical language could do you wonders.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
I just write what comes to me naturally. And most people seem to like it that way. But you're entitled to your own opnion.

And why don't you try to write some yourself? In a language that's not your first language?
Reply
:iconbleedingprophecies:
BleedingProphecies Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Your work is gaining popularity and it makes me so very happy. :) 
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
It is indeed. :hug:
Reply
:iconno-arms-no-legs:
no-arms-no-legs Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
"u-umm... BlazetheAngelQueen this reminded me of you...."
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
And why is that?
Reply
:iconno-arms-no-legs:
no-arms-no-legs Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014
((its just how i is very lovely piece btw cx))
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Well, thanks :)
Reply
:iconblazetheangelqueen:
BlazetheAngelQueen Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student Artist
Blaze: *smiles a bit* 
Reply
:iconno-arms-no-legs:
no-arms-no-legs Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014
"heh..."
Reply
:iconblazetheangelqueen:
BlazetheAngelQueen Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Student Artist
"You make me happy, a whole lot happy" said Blaze
Reply
:icontkcoopur:
TKCoopur Featured By Owner Edited Jun 26, 2014  Student General Artist
"Illusion Of Happiness" That last line stands out among the whole poem. I would wonder why that is but at the same time I know the answer to it.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
We are never truly happy, are we?
Reply
:icontkcoopur:
TKCoopur Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Orson Welles stated "We are born alone, live alone, and die alone. Only through the illusion of friendship and love can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone". From my perspective, I can only hope and pray that happiness is found after one dies and moves on into the afterlife with the other souls. People suffer trying to find true happiness here. It's sad and horrible to watch them find a false dream. Temporary happiness exists but it'll fade sooner or later. I myself learned that the hard way.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Words of wisdom. And yet we keep chasing that dream. 
Reply
:icontkcoopur:
TKCoopur Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Student General Artist
Sad, isn't it?
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Yeah, it is. :(
Reply
:iconlady-buffy:
Lady-Buffy Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
maybe it's bittersweet, but it's true!! It's authentic!! This is love ;) even if the only thing that I don't like very much is the word "empty" for those lover souls. But it's just an opinion =D however, well done, well written =)
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Thanks.
Maybe "empty" wasn't the best word there. But it was what came to my head while writing so I decided to leave it there.
Reply
:iconlady-buffy:
Lady-Buffy Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
you're welcome =)
and, ehy, it's juts a simple opinion, don't worry =) it's a good poem, with some verse very impressive ;)
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
I know. Thanks again :)
Reply
:iconlady-buffy:
Lady-Buffy Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
you're welcome =)
Reply
:iconkilluann:
Killuann Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
I don't totally agree with this text, but it still really beautiful !
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Thanks. But what don't you agree with, exactly?
Reply
:iconkilluann:
Killuann Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
Don't worry, my way to see love is just not the same as your.

It's not a better one, or a badest one, it's mine, and i'm happy with it. If you are with your, just keep it, and enjoy it as you can.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
I guess we all have different opinions on love. And I'm cool with it.
Reply
:iconshortypaint-pencil:
Shortypaint-pencil Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Clap  It is very beautiful! Great work! Clap Clap 
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Thank you :)
Reply
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June 25, 2014
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